Friday, March 17, 2006

Biblical Inspiration

One of the most delightful parts of Steve Almond's informative novel, Candy Freak, is the paragraph where he details the extensive candy stockpiles he has squirrled away throughout his kitchen, dresser drawers and closets - basically anywhere he can find the space.

The excerpt below is from Steve's prologue and lays out just how candy freaky he is. Great inspiration.

1. The author has eaten a piece of candy every day for his entire life.
2. The author thinks about candy at least once an hour.

3. The author has between three to seven pounds of candy at his house at all times. Here is a catalog of all the candy I have in my apartment as of right now, 3:21 p.m., July 6, 2003:

- 2 pounds miniature Clark Bars
- 1.5 pounds dark chocolate-covered mint patties
- 24 bite sized peanut butter cups
- 1 pound Tootsie Roll Midgets
- 4 ounces Altoid-like cinnamon disks
- 6 ounces cherry flavored jellies (think budget Jujyfruits)
- A single gold foiled milk chocolate ball with mysterious butter truffle-type filling
- 2 squares of Valrona semisweet chocolate (on my bedside table)
- 3 pieces Fleer bubblegum

I am not counting the fourteen boxes of Kit Kat Limited Edition Dark, which I have stored in an undisclosed warehouse location, nor whatever candy I might have stashed, squirrel-like, in obscure drawers.

Dang! The man has some willpower.

This brings us to the new weekly column here at Candy Make You Go Hmmm, which, hopefully in vivid detail (and maybe one day with photos) will describe the grostesque amount of candy we have started to compile underneath beds, jacket pockets and freezers. Get ready to get gross!


Blogger Cybele said...

I don't think I could keep a running list of everything I have candy-wise in the house. (Of course if you check out my flickr photo pages, you'll get a pretty good idea.)

However, like Steve, I have a secret stash of my favorite chocolates that I store in large quanities in my husband's wine fridge.

I look forward to the rest of your reviews on the BigTips box!

12:42 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home